LIVE ACTIONS & PERFORMANCES

ETIOPI OLANDESI

Etiopi Olandesi is the world-wide unrelenting champion of ultra-immobility, its masterwork consisting in extreme repetitions of a single melodic phrase played at accordion on a chair in the middle of a bedroom in Terni, evidently in contrast with the sound coming from a 30 watt stereo National Panasonic hi-fi randomly playing "Sbora Sound".

Errors came to be a central part in the unmodified, virginal integrity of this simple extremism.

Nothing new, certainly, except the fact that Etiopi Olandesi is not the person who is playing accordion and he do not know this.

An excerpt from that unique performance can be heard on the "Craniotome Equality" compilation tape, edited from L.A.O. in a very private edition.

NONZE STIPPULA

The only performance this great group made was to enumerate, during a phone-call to a private radio talk-show, the wondrous 80 names.

The retarded DJ remained paralysed during all the elencation, even if it openly contrasted with the poor tone of the transmission.

This unique act was promptly recorded, proving to have a considerable, unexpected, placebo effect in meringue-menstruation syndrome treatment.

Performances :

a winter evening 1987

MAGRA GAMBAS

This group is basically a live act performance crew. Their concerts consist in catatonically walking with full plastic bags on hands, letting them fall on the ground among amazed people. If helped to pick up their bags, they leave their property and flee.

When they meet each other you can recognise their way to salute in presenting their purses and letting them fall at their feet immediately after. They are in a similar absent-minded state, even if evidently confused.

Performances :

10 December 1985 h. 10.30 n. 1 plastic bag

10 December 1986 h. 10.30 n. 2 plastic bags

10 December 1987 h. 10.30 n. 2 purses

10 December 1988 h. 10.30 n. 3 plastic bags

10 December 1989 h. 10.30 n. 1 magazine (unusual)

10 December 1990 h. 10.30 n. 2 plastic bags

10 December 1991 h. 10.32 n. 7 pencils (unusual)

10 December 1992 h. 10.30 n. 1 tissue bag (believing it was plastic)

10 December 1993 h. 11.00 n. 1 purse

10 December 1994 h. 10.35 n. 2 plastic bags

10 December 1995 h. 10.30 n. 4 purses

10 December 1996 h. 10.31 n. 9 sheets of recycled paper (unusual)

10 December 1997 h. 10.30 n. 1 clock which remained severely offended

COBRA ESSENCE

Several performances of this unspeakable oddity took place in land during the ‘80s.

All consisted in letting a piece of ham to wearily oscillate from the border of the mouth, wile walking in MAGRA GAMBA’s stile.

COBRA doesn’t exist as a single entity, but is a concept developed by the former creators of ETIOPI OLANDESI, who learnt this practice in R., from an astonishing sub-human acquaintance who suddenly revealed his terrible secret during a summer night pilgrimage.

Never the disciples reached the intensity of their "magister".

Performances :

12 August 1980 : Archetypal Ham Live Act by the unique beginner of Oscillation Lore (B.O.LO.) in R. promenade.

13 August 1980 : 2^nd oscillation (member M.)

13 August 1980 : 3^rd oscillation (member A.)

13 August 1980 : 4^th oscillation (member A.)

14 August 1980 : 5^th oscillation (member M.) : the most violent ever recorded, characterised by the tatter falling on member S.

14 August 1980 : 6^th oscillation (member A.) : devoted to the highly appreciated performance n. 5, appositely letting fall the tear on member S.

14 August 1980 : 7^th oscillation (member S.) : aborted.

14 August 1980 : 8^th oscillation (member S.)

15 August 1980 : 9^th oscillation (member A.)

15 August 1980 : 10^th oscillation (member M.) first variation : pizza’s tatter.

15 August 1980 : 11^th oscillation (member A.) : following the new attitude.

16 August 1980 : 12^th oscillation (member M.)

16 August 1980 : 13^th oscillation (member A.)

17 August 1980 : 14^th oscillation (member unknown)

18 August 1980 : 15^th oscillation (member A.) : astounding performance variation (ice cream coils randomly applied on beard) in front of an amazed unaware audience in a central Hyper-Bar in R. ; member A. being accompanied in catatonic state by member M., hand in hand, trying to remain serious at the running up of the waiters.

21 August 1980 : 16^th oscillation (member M.) : in full Lore respect.

22 August 1980 : 17^th oscillation (member unknown)

22 August 1980 : 18^th oscillation (member S.)

22 August 1980 : 19^th oscillation (member unknown)

10 November 1980 : 20^th oscillation (member unknown)

30 November 1980 : 21^st oscillation (member known)

11 July 1990 : no oscillation at all.

O . B . R . I . A .

OLD CALLARS BIOMEDICAL REUNION LEADERSHIP IN THE ASTANTERIA

O.B.R.I.A. was the first Entity in western musical tradition to appropriate of ‘unconscious’ people actions as an evidence of artistic artefacts which do exist only for their ‘discovery’ by the medium of a highly refined sensibility: a real basis for L.A.O. theoretical construction.

Plenty of concerts and live acts can be credited to O.B.R.I.A., normally offered in Hospital waiting-rooms (astanterie), with the unconscious contribution of SU.VO.W.W. International.

Performances :

A countless number of never reported actions were performed from 1980 to 1992.

______________________

• Callar is a fake English rendition for UMRU dialectal expression "Callaro" which indicates, simultaneously, copper-plated saucepans (caldai) and old "excessively reminiscent" hyper-kitsch drained matrons.
•  
• UMRU is the name of Celtic ancestors of actual people of Terni, from the central Italy region named Umbria.
•  
• SU.VO.W.W. stays for : Super Vomit World-wide Women.

DEVOTES OF K.O.D.

K.O.D. stays for Kurltlelrla Oldl Dlelialdltlia, whose path is that of bringing menace, with a closed umbrella, to an empty little tetrapack of fruit juice discarded on the ground, with an assorted melancholic - self indulgent state, taking action, this primary pitiful performance, in the distance at the back of an unaware group speaking about Hostaria.

The only time this magnificent action took place was during a winter evening in 1990, and was testified only by 2 spectators who remained deeply touched and stood in silent, suspended, waiting for it’s natural conclusion : tetrapack indifference and joviality.

FERMO CRISI

It’s a hardly reported performance which took place at noon in a social refectory in Perugia, 1984, consisting in Member S. remaining astonished in front of his meal when sided by a mentally disturbed guest sitting near us, who took him for a Lizard Man.

The two remained completely motionless, one fronting the other, for something like ten minutes, without eating nor moving even the eyelids, the glance fixed on plates, giving an exemplar demonstration of the powerful vacuity of interstices of life.

THE ELEMENTI

This legendary group has a unique action to be remembered for : the wonderful, haunting pants of the nigger walking through the street at the beginning of "Candy goes to Hollywood" porno classic, viewed on a Mitsubishi first generation two heads system video recorder.

This devotional action took place at the beginning of 1985 and was never more repeated as the group burned every reason to exist with the consumption of this primal act.

THE DARSENA

We never had the fortune to attend this mythical action, but only to testify its aftermath, which left us without breath : the first floor lift cage of a little palace in Terni, via delle Portelle 10, revealed, at a more closer approach a little distortion occurred by a relevant but timid pressure applied on its metal mail by a wildly sanctified thumb.

A suivre

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